The Top 10 People In Worse Shape For The October LSAT Than You

The URL to the Warwick Strategies website got deleted on this one, so I will post the test here, even though I'm not sure how the original violated the board rules. Happy studying all!

The Top 10 People In Worse Shape For The October LSAT Than You
Posted Friday, July 29, 2011 by Bryce Warwick

The October LSAT is just over two months away and if you're starting to stress out, you're not alone. But, it could be worse. Here are the top ten groups that are in worse shape than you are.

1.   Mechanical Pencil Addicts- These poor souls will have to face the LSAT without that "click, click, click" that comforts them and drives the rest of us nuts. It's not your sanity the LSAC is worried about though. They want to make sure that you aren't tapping out messages in Morse code during the test.

2.   Anyone who knows Morse code- Not only has a potentially brilliant cheating scheme been thwarted, but if you've been spending time learning something useless like Morse code, you probably haven't been studying enough for the LSAT.

3.   The Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot- It's going to be awfully difficult for these recluses to bring in the clear, recent photograph that is now required for identity verification to enter the room. Although Bigfoot doing those beef jerky commercials may be a sign he's more willing to comply with the new policy.

4.   Ronnie and Sammi from Jersey Shore- The arguments section of the LSAT does not include breaking furniture, throwing clothes out of windows or physical violence, so the last few seasons of the Jersey Shore haven't really prepped either for the LSAT. Anyone who has watched a Jersey Shore marathon, on the other hand, is well-prepared for many hours of mind-numbing tedium that the LSAT provides four times a year.

5.   Brett Favre- If there's one thing you need to be able to do on the LSAT, it's make a decision. Brett seems to have trouble with two choices: Retire vs. Don't Retire. I can't imagine how he would do with five.

6.   President Obama and Speaker Boehner- In the logic games section, you are given a complex set of rules and asked to figure out the logically required results. Unfortunately for these two, you can't change the rules or create new ones. And arguing about the rules that are already in place? Similarly pointless.

7.   The Twitterverse- Reading comprehension passages are notorious for exceeding that 140 character limit. Let's b honest, when ur used to dealing with the world 1 txt msg at a time, focusing for longer than that can be pretty...

8.   NFL Players- They're heading back to work now, which leaves less time for formal logic. All NFL players are heading back to work. If a player is heading back to work, then he has less time to study. You've got time to come to conclusions about those statements. They've got to report to training camp.

9.   Non-Morning People- Don't tell me that you re-scheduled from the June exam and you thought that all of the tests were in the afternoon. You did? Oops. Yup, the October test means back to the norm of obnoxiously early wake up calls for a Saturday morning.

10.   Those Who Haven't Even Started Yet- If you're reading this, you've at least started thinking about the LSAT, so you are a step ahead of some test-takers. But don't be fooled. There's no time left to waste. The October LSAT is coming up fast, and while you're definitely ahead of these 10 groups, there's lots of work and time to improve left!

Bryce Warwick is a private tutor from San Jose, CA. He started Warwick Strategies to give students the best of big company techniques along with individualized focus on each student's outcome.